The Elements of Mental Resilience
When you’re mentally resilient, you possess the characteristics to push through hard times and achieve success. You’re a high performer who can handle pressure. It’s in your mindset, but it’s not just about emotional intelligence – you can have strong EQ, but low mental resilience.
There are four elements that are essential to your mental resilience:
- Personal control: Some people always seem to know exactly where they’re going in life and how they are getting there? It may seem they have found their calling purely by luck, but it’s more likely their strong sense of personal control over their lives and outcomes. This doesn’t happen by accident, it is a trait of the mentally tough.
- Commitment: It’s one thing to know what you want in life, and another to work out how you can get it – but without commitment, you’ll never achieve your goals. It takes commitment to set goals and deliver on them, and this is something mentally resilient people have an abundance of. Mentally resilient people achieve what they set out to regardless of how trying the circumstances.
- Growth through suffering: Life is tough and ever-changing, especially during a pandemic! Throw in a tough day at work, a couple of children, or in my own case- twins, and a personal hardship, and what may seem like a simple life can quickly become very tough. The resilient ones amongst us are ready for this, and they have the ability to hold it together in a challenging environment and under challenging circumstances. Resilient people generally meet failure head-on and use it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
- Acting despite the fear: Be brave…Courage is not a matter of feeling no fear. Courage is acting despite fear.
Why is mental resilience important?
As we all know, when we are in a weakened position where we feel as if things are going from bad to worse, it can be very difficult to find our balance, or swim against the tide, or, recover and regain stability.
Mental resilience is important for several reasons; it enables us to develop mechanisms for protection against experiences which could be overwhelming, it helps us to maintain balance in our lives during difficult or stressful periods, and can also protect us from the development of some mental health difficulties and issues.
If you haven’t got it, can you get it?
- Make some lifestyle changes - practice being more straight-forward and assertive with others - If you feel people are making unreasonable demands upon you be prepared to tell them how you feel and say no. Use relaxation tips, and take time to do the things which calm you down, whether it is taking a bath, going for a walk or listening to music. Develop interests and hobbies, and make time for them. Make time to spend with family and friends, and make use of your support network around you. Assess the sense of balance in your life - If one area is taking up all your time, then make some space for other things.
- Look after your physical health - get a good night’s sleep, and develop better sleeping patterns. Try and be more physically active, and exercise regularly. Make sure to eat a more balanced and healthy diet.
- Be less hard on yourself - find time to praise yourself for your achievements and reward yourself for what you have accomplished. Resolve old or existing conflicts - this can be difficult, but settling arguments, or finding a new way to move forward with a friend or loved one will assist you in finding a sense of peace. Forgive yourself - if you did not achieve what you wanted, or you feel you have made a mistake, ease up on punishing yourself and try to remember that no one is perfect.
- Put things in perspective
Psychologists teach clients to ask themselves how bad the problem will be in a day, a week, a month or a year from now.
- See problems as short term
‘This too shall pass’. Resilient people can reassure themselves that while circumstances might be bad right now, it’s not going to last forever. Part of this is about perspective, but it's also about being able to acknowledge the awful feelings associated with stressful situations, and know they will eventually dissipate.
What we know about the most resilient people is that they are much better at reaching out and asking for help. Even the best people, the strongest and most resilient people, can’t do it all on their own all of the time.
- Build strong relationships
To ask for help we first need people to ask. Keep in touch with people, share good experiences with those people who are close to us. That’s advantageous in many other respects as well. Probably the most important thing we can do for our health and happiness in life is to build quality relationships.
